It's been a long long week for me... And a really testing time too... But first, let me correct a typo mistake I made in the earlier post. I joined as a gym member of Fitness First. I had the name wrong earlier.
Anyway, so far, I have gone for 5 visits to the gym. Once on last Wed, last Fri, last Sun, last Tues and today. On last Tues session, I had a Personal Trainer with me. The trainer introduced me to quite a few machines to try out and educated me on its various functions. I realized that it's not that tough to use the machines. What held me back last time was my anxiety that I'd look like an idiot if I used the machine wrongly. Hee...
About two weeks ago, I changed my diet and eating habit. And, in a way, I am suffering, as a result. I decided to eat very much less than my normal amount and even when I do eat, I get conscious of it. I haven't touch ice-cream (3 tubs in my fridge now) since two weeks ago. I have also cut my rice intake to about 1/4 of the usual if I can't avoid eating it. Vegetables are now my main dishes, no more chicken and fish as substitute, red meat I haven't tasted for a while except for the little bit I ate at Marz's home.
In the last few days, I have felt hungry more often than I did during fasting month. I ate fruits as food subsitute. There were also times when I tried to eat food and I felt like vomiting. But the worst was today. I had some mee siam (dry) for breakfast, probably 1/2 portion as serving was small, had bbq stingray rice for lunch with 1/5 of the fish and 3/4 of the rice left and then I had a gym session after work. The trainer and my friend advised me to have something for dinner.
On the way home, I stopped by the coffeshop, looked at the various stall's menu and thought for a long time. I decided to walk over to the nearby shop and got a loaf of wholemeal bread instead. When I got home, I ate 2 slices of plain bread. After 5 mins, I practically threw out everything. I took a rest and tried again to eat 2 slices of bread and soon after, it all came out again. For the first time since I started the change in eating habits, I felt so upset with myself. But then it dawned upon me that it could be my body's reaction in trying to adjust to the change.
When my friend asked me if I had something (he's worried I didn't eat), I told him what happened. I think he got more worried. I shouldn't have told him. But I did let him know that I tried eating some bread again by pinching it bit by bit. So far so good. I hope that I can continue to persevere in keeping to my new eating habits.
I do know it's not good to starve myself so whenever I feel hungry, I eat a small portion of fruits. I can't deny it's not easy. A thousand and one temptations. But for the sake of being healthy (not lose weight), it's important I remain determined.
Hopefully, I become healthier (and maybe lose some weight). Ahakz!!
